I started to highlight a part I loved, for discussion—then realized I liked another part better, and then another. A riveting piece!
I also am tired of the hollow advice, and particularly for the middle-of-life or older woman. Apparently, we are out there screaming for directional help in our endlessly worthless lives!
And to that I say, not even a little bit! If I had only known when I was younger that you can’t skip over, erase or put the hard things in a box, I would’ve been so ahead of the game.
Every bit of the me you see now happened because I realized I could not step around the blood.
“Healing does not come from pretending the wound is gone. It comes from telling the truth about it, and from refusing to make suffering a solitary thing.”
I resonated with much of this. I think of my story as a window and hope that my writing leaves space to invite others to see themselves in my words.
Your distinction between bleeding on the page and bleeding onto your audience was well stated- restraint is something I work on for this reason. I have so much to learn and don’t really have any sort of intelligent plan. I write from intuition and follow where it takes me.
You also spoke about going first, opening the wound first, and allowing your audience to respond. That kind of writing is so powerful. Thanks for sharing!
What you said about creating a living space for others to see themselves in my words means a lot, because that is what I’m trying to do. I don’t want to pretend I’ve figured everything out and now I’m handing down polished little truths from some clean, safe distance.
"I am here for the reader who does not need me to pretend the darkness wasn’t dark. I am here for the reader who has looked back on their life and wondered what the hell they did. Because I am that reader too."
I relate very much to this article. Multiple lines describe how I feel about writing, too, so thank you for expressing this so clearly. "I think many readers are tired of being soothed by people who refuse to descend." I think so too! "That is where real writing begins for me. Not in the clean conclusion, not in the framed quote, not in the tidy moral, but in the place where I can no longer lie to myself." - And that is precisely why I appreciate your writing.
Thank you, Orna. That means a great deal, especially coming from someone who understands the difficulty of writing honestly about these things.
I think so much of the challenge is learning how to tell the truth without turning your pain into a performance. I’m still figuring that out myself, one piece at a time.
I started to highlight a part I loved, for discussion—then realized I liked another part better, and then another. A riveting piece!
I also am tired of the hollow advice, and particularly for the middle-of-life or older woman. Apparently, we are out there screaming for directional help in our endlessly worthless lives!
And to that I say, not even a little bit! If I had only known when I was younger that you can’t skip over, erase or put the hard things in a box, I would’ve been so ahead of the game.
Every bit of the me you see now happened because I realized I could not step around the blood.
Because the blood should be central to what we talk about. Not avoided. Not sidestepped. Central.
“Healing does not come from pretending the wound is gone. It comes from telling the truth about it, and from refusing to make suffering a solitary thing.”
I resonated with much of this. I think of my story as a window and hope that my writing leaves space to invite others to see themselves in my words.
Your distinction between bleeding on the page and bleeding onto your audience was well stated- restraint is something I work on for this reason. I have so much to learn and don’t really have any sort of intelligent plan. I write from intuition and follow where it takes me.
You also spoke about going first, opening the wound first, and allowing your audience to respond. That kind of writing is so powerful. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Em. I really appreciate this.
What you said about creating a living space for others to see themselves in my words means a lot, because that is what I’m trying to do. I don’t want to pretend I’ve figured everything out and now I’m handing down polished little truths from some clean, safe distance.
truth serum>>> can't pretend dark.
"I am here for the reader who does not need me to pretend the darkness wasn’t dark. I am here for the reader who has looked back on their life and wondered what the hell they did. Because I am that reader too."
No and I can’t pretend dark wasn’t hella instructional.
I relate very much to this article. Multiple lines describe how I feel about writing, too, so thank you for expressing this so clearly. "I think many readers are tired of being soothed by people who refuse to descend." I think so too! "That is where real writing begins for me. Not in the clean conclusion, not in the framed quote, not in the tidy moral, but in the place where I can no longer lie to myself." - And that is precisely why I appreciate your writing.
Thank you Tamara. When we bleed, it’s nice to know that someone appreciates it.
Terrific post Mike. You’ve brilliantly articulated some of the nuances I’ve been wrestling with in my own writing. 🙏
Thank you, Orna. That means a great deal, especially coming from someone who understands the difficulty of writing honestly about these things.
I think so much of the challenge is learning how to tell the truth without turning your pain into a performance. I’m still figuring that out myself, one piece at a time.
I really appreciate you reading.